Ep.14: Transformational Journaling
I'm about to get really vulnerable with you. So I have this daily journaling practice.
I call it intentional journaling and I have been putting together these five prompts over years of practice and learning, books I've read and classes I've taken and mentors. I've had these five prompts that I use every day, every single day, for years. They're having a profound effect, a transformative effect on my life, and they have for many other people as well. Sometimes I do a journal workshop, and if you are interested in being part of one of these journal workshops, let me know and I will put you on a wait list so that you're the first to find out about them. But yeah, I do this journal practice every day and I'm going to do it right now with you.
So get out a journal, do it with me so I'm not alone. And if you have I don't know, like me, maybe you have purchased big, fancy leather bound journals or pretty things at the art store you can't resist to buy yet another one, and then you take it home and maybe use it for a few days and it's got a page or two filled up and then it gets cast aside. You can probably look around your house and find a bunch of them Empty pages of journals.
This journal practice is different. It is clear. Five prompts. I've had clients and friends tell me that doing it has changed the trajectory of their lives. I know from my experience that that's true.
Okay, I hope you have something to write with before I get started.
I always like to do a little breathing activity, some breath work that brings my attention back into my body and activates my parasympathetic nervous system, helps me to relax, chill out, be here now. So I'm going to do it I don't know, during a podcast scene. It's kind of silly, but whatever, I don't care, it's going to be me. I'm going to take five deep breaths. I want you to join me.
Five deep breaths in through my nose, hold and out through my mouth. So right now I'm sitting, as my friend Joe says, upright but not uptight, and my feet are flat on the ground. I'm going to put my hand over my heart. That's how I like to do it. You can turn your palms up on your thighs or I don't know, rest them next to you in a chair, but I put my hand over my heart. I like to feel my heart beat under my palm and I take the other hand and kind of wrap it around my belly, so I'm embracing myself. This is an act of self-love. All right, relax my shoulders and my neck and my jaw. I'm closing my eyes. I'm going to take a deep breath in through my nose. Join me. Here we go and hold and out through my mouth. Do it again with me in, hold out In through your nose, hold out through your mouth. Two more times In, hold out and one last time. Doesn't that feel great? Thanks for doing that with me. Sometimes I feel like it's the first time I've breathed all day.
Okay, journal time. I have just a notebook. I don't spend a bunch of money on journals anymore because I fill them up cover to cover and then throw them away. So I'm going to put a date on here and I'm going to start with fear.
What are you afraid of?
I'm just going to take a couple of minutes and I'm going to write about my fears. For me, that's the easiest prompt. It is so easy to write about what I'm afraid of. I'm always afraid. I've always got fear. Humans have a negativity bias. We focus on what is bad. Okay. So I'm going to pause this for a second and I'm going to write about my fear. Do it with me. Okay, I'm back. What about you? Did you write about your fear? I filled up about half a page in my notebook of things that I'm afraid of.
The next prompt is gratitude. Can you think about 10 things for which you are grateful?
Practices all over the world, all kinds of spiritual practices, positive psychology. Lots of different sources will tell us that having a meditation, that having a gratitude practice, really helps our well-being. And I'm not saying that we need to be polyanna or toxically positive. That's not the point of a gratitude list. But you know, in any moment I can stop and think about okay, what is good? Good, so I'm going to pause for a moment and I'm going to make a list of what I'm grateful for. Join me, here we go. Okay, did you do it? I have more than 10 things. I start, I get on a roll and, yeah, there's lots that I'm grateful for.
The next topic, the next prompt in the journaling, is bragging.
Did that scare you? Sometimes this is the hardest part bragging about yourself. We are taught not to do it. We are taught to be small, to be humble, to be modest. Really, we should be celebrating what is good about ourselves, what are our accomplishments, what have you done well? What do you love about you? If you were your biggest fan, what would you say about yourself? Fuck those old messages. Fuck those old messages that tell you to be smaller and more quiet and reserved. No, absolutely not. It's time to cheer yourself on.
One of my favorite parts about the journaling workshop that I do is when people share. When they're bragging about themselves, I never think ugh. Who do they think they are? Instead, I get so excited and I want to celebrate with them. It makes me happy, it makes me feel bigger.
It allows me to celebrate myself. That's what happens when we brag about ourselves. I'm not suggesting that we be asshole, self-centered, arrogant pricks. No, know what you're good at. Know what you've accomplished. That is being right-sized, not too big and not too small. So take a few minutes to brag about yourself and if you can't do it, imagine that you are your biggest fan, who in your life would say great things about you. Write down what they would say Okay, I'm going to go do mine. All right, I did it, did you? I always feel so buoyant after I have bragged about myself.
Next up in the journal practice, the prompt is to write affirmations, and not just any affirmations.
But I want you to go back and look at your fears, the first thing that you wrote about. I want you to write affirmations that counter those fears, some positive statements that can help you challenge and overcome those fears. I have some favorites that I write all the time and I'm going to share them with you now. You're welcome to steal some of my affirmations if you want. I say the universe conspires in my favor and also the next step is illuminated and finally, I love you. Keep going. Let's pause for a moment. You write affirmations, I'll write affirmations. I'll be right back. Did you do it? I did.
The next intentional journaling prompt is to visualize.
This is an opportunity for you to envision a future where nothing stands in your way. If you could have anything anywhere, with any one. What would it look like? What would you be doing? Who would be doing it with you? You might have a voice that says you can't have that. Don't write that down. Who do you think you are? Yeah, ask that voice to be quiet. This is an opportunity for you to create a blueprint for the life of your wildest imaginings. Don't talk yourself out of it. Don't let the rational brain say that's not possible. Allow your subconscious to come out and create anything. Do it now. Okay, I'm done so.
My favorite part of the journal workshop is when we share with one another. No one's required to share. I want everyone to feel as safe and comfortable as possible, but one of the amazing things that happens is that we find out we have the same fears. The details of our lives might be different, but we've got the same. But we're afraid of the same things. We're afraid of being alone. We're afraid of being in physical or emotional pain. We're afraid of dying under a bridge and no one noticing.
We're afraid of what other people think of us and a whole bunch of other fears that we share. So when we talk about them aloud in the workshop, we don't feel so alone anymore.
We build connection from our vulnerability, we also inspire one another with our ideas and the things we've written down. I might add, for instance, something that you're bragging about about yourself. Yeah, I do that too. I might put that into my journal. You might be encouraged by what I am visualizing for myself. Maybe it'll push you into the next level for your own visualization. The workshop is really, really inspiring, but in this case, this is just a podcast, so I'm going to be really vulnerable with you and I'm going to share some of the things that I have written in my journal. Today I'm trusting you.
Here are a few things that I'm afraid of.
I'm afraid, because I own my own business, that clients won't come. I'm going to spend all my money. I won't have access to resources. I'll be broke and alone, without a home, desperate. I'm also afraid of what other people think of me that I'll be unloved. People will hurt me emotionally and physically. I'll be misunderstood. I'll look stupid. Those are some of m
What about you? What are you afraid of? Some of the things that I am grateful for. Here we go. I'm grateful for my friends, the connections that I make everywhere I go. I'm grateful for the 12 steps and being sober. I'm grateful for good coffee, this journal, practice, books, music, love. I'm grateful that I've traveled to so many places. I'm grateful for all the women that I have loved and learned from. What are you grateful for? All right, I'm gonna brag about myself. Are you ready? I am brave as fuck. I make friends everywhere I go. I connect with others. I am smart, funny, beautiful. I support others.
I've created bodies of work that demonstrate my knowledge, experience and skills over the years. You can see it in my writing, in my podcast, in my social media content, the free resources that I make and give away, the interviews I've done on other people's podcasts, years of social media content, classes that I teach, workshops that I hold, time I spend with individuals and groups sponsoring, coaching, teaching and mentoring. I am an amazing human and I know what I'm worth. What are you bragging about? I am a great human.
Here are some of my affirmations from today.
This moment is good. Right here, I am safe, whole and loved. I am capable and I can trust myself. Keep being 100% your authentic self. This is the best version of you that you have ever been. Success is more than money. The next step is illuminated. Write your affirmations on sticky notes and put them all over where you can see them. What did you visualize today?
Here are some of the things that I visualized.
I finish my book. It's a bestseller. It helps me see myself as I really am. It helps others because they feel seen as well. My home is beautiful Wood floors and tons of natural light, books and food and money abound, love and connection with others. I have a wait list of clients and I'm amassing an army of badass women. There's more, but you get the idea. You get the idea.
This journal practice is so powerful. You can download these prompts for free if you want. From my website. You'll find the prompts and some of my examples and some explanation as to why I do it the way I do it. I want you to have it. I want you to incorporate this practice in your every single day.